Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Her Happiness
...I'm not really sure what she wants anymore. I don't think she knows either, but I'm ok with that, for the moment. We shared an amazing few days together, ones i'll always treasure. Even if things dont work out, and she end's up not feeling the same way, I will have nothing bad about her to say. She's amazing. A gift from god. She has the twinkle in her eyes of a thousand constellations combined. It's heavenly. And if there is such a place up there, she was sent from it. She was sent to me, I truly want to believe that. Because I was at a breaking point in my life, and I need my spirits to be lifted indefinitly. I prayed and prayed and prayed, to a man I didnt know was there or listening. Maybe he was......In the end, its all about making her happy. Whether its me that does it or not, at this point, nothing else matters to me. Because i know whats its like to search for happiness and never been able to find it, so if I can help her, whether it be with me or not, ill have done my good deed in this life.
Like you used to do
I know its hard to see the leaves
between the forrest and the trees
Just give me a hard time
like you used to
Just tease me kindly
like you used to
I want back the days
when you were my anti depressant
instead of the pills I had to take, everyday
I miss the days, when we were...
between the forrest and the trees
Just give me a hard time
like you used to
Just tease me kindly
like you used to
I want back the days
when you were my anti depressant
instead of the pills I had to take, everyday
I miss the days, when we were...
If it's broken...
It'll be good morning beautiful,
Every morning
Never wake you,
Even if you're snoring
Just Write
There's a fire in these eyes,
That'll never die,
So I'll always have one last time,
To find, you.
I'd give anything,
Just to watch the sunrise,
Through you're eyes,
As you awake from your night life,
Do you feel it, too?
Somethings in the air tonight...
Magnifying glass,
Zoom effect
Miles and miles into the distance,
While star lights twinkle in existence,
As my eyes speak, my mouth shuts and just listens...
I never thought all the little things,
Would mean everything,
As Im tangled up in you,
Lost in your familiar maze,
So many years were lost just wondering,
Dazed in a refusing to shine state,
Just write,
to the star light,
Dont stop here,
Even if you've lost your way,
Speak whats on your mind,
And you'll find a resolution in the wake,
Even buried under the sand,
Of all your helpless mistakes...
That'll never die,
So I'll always have one last time,
To find, you.
I'd give anything,
Just to watch the sunrise,
Through you're eyes,
As you awake from your night life,
Do you feel it, too?
Somethings in the air tonight...
Magnifying glass,
Zoom effect
Miles and miles into the distance,
While star lights twinkle in existence,
As my eyes speak, my mouth shuts and just listens...
I never thought all the little things,
Would mean everything,
As Im tangled up in you,
Lost in your familiar maze,
So many years were lost just wondering,
Dazed in a refusing to shine state,
Just write,
to the star light,
Dont stop here,
Even if you've lost your way,
Speak whats on your mind,
And you'll find a resolution in the wake,
Even buried under the sand,
Of all your helpless mistakes...
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
I Love You
Yesterday, I sat on the porch,
And watched the flowers blossom,
I thought, and hated for you to believe the gossip
When the truth, will always remain the same,
And that's Im forever yours, crazily insane,
In love with you, and all your ways,
Ive never changed for anyone, and dont plan today,
Just like I dont want to change who you are,
Cause im gonna love you each and every day.
I love you...
So, In the words of Jay-Z, who said "if you love me, never leave"
As the leaves, on the trees, turn red as my heart,
I see your true colors, as I sit with memories in the dark
Cause I dont need anything bright cause you light up my nights
It's that way still, now, always have, always will, even from the start.
And I keep those images trapped in my hindsight.
I love you...
And sometimes I look deep into the windows of your soul,
I see the world has felt you up with optic holes, yeah I know it takes its toll
And sometimes I may have made you feel not welcome anymore
But im here to tell you now, Relax, cause your the only one I adore
Even when your mad, even when your sad, go ahead and cry your eyes out,
Cause my shoulders and ears, are always here, beyond more than a reasonable doubt.
I love you...
Sp, as seasons come and go and snow comes our way
I just want you to know Id never place you under any blame,
For all that we've been through, truth is, you
Helped guide me out of the land of empty-ness, confiding in you
Even when you were gone, You were all I truly knew.
So let me love you, like I want to
I'll shower you with peddles from those rose blossoms that just bloomed,
And even eventually dress up in a suit to be your one and only groom,
And as your husband to be, my soul rest within you...
As these words come from a place within my heart called Truth.
Cause Im madly in love with you...
And watched the flowers blossom,
I thought, and hated for you to believe the gossip
When the truth, will always remain the same,
And that's Im forever yours, crazily insane,
In love with you, and all your ways,
Ive never changed for anyone, and dont plan today,
Just like I dont want to change who you are,
Cause im gonna love you each and every day.
I love you...
So, In the words of Jay-Z, who said "if you love me, never leave"
As the leaves, on the trees, turn red as my heart,
I see your true colors, as I sit with memories in the dark
Cause I dont need anything bright cause you light up my nights
It's that way still, now, always have, always will, even from the start.
And I keep those images trapped in my hindsight.
I love you...
And sometimes I look deep into the windows of your soul,
I see the world has felt you up with optic holes, yeah I know it takes its toll
And sometimes I may have made you feel not welcome anymore
But im here to tell you now, Relax, cause your the only one I adore
Even when your mad, even when your sad, go ahead and cry your eyes out,
Cause my shoulders and ears, are always here, beyond more than a reasonable doubt.
I love you...
Sp, as seasons come and go and snow comes our way
I just want you to know Id never place you under any blame,
For all that we've been through, truth is, you
Helped guide me out of the land of empty-ness, confiding in you
Even when you were gone, You were all I truly knew.
So let me love you, like I want to
I'll shower you with peddles from those rose blossoms that just bloomed,
And even eventually dress up in a suit to be your one and only groom,
And as your husband to be, my soul rest within you...
As these words come from a place within my heart called Truth.
Cause Im madly in love with you...
Friday, November 2, 2012
Ships in the Night
Like ships in the night
You keep passing me by
We're just wasting time
Trying to prove who's right
And if it all goes crashing into the sea
If it's just you and me
Trying to find the light
Like ships in the night letting cannon balls fly
Say what you mean and it turns to a fight
Fist fly from my mouth as it turns south
You're down the driveway... I'm on the couch
Chasing your dreams since the violent 5th grade
Trying to believe in your silent own way
Cause we'll be ok... I'm not going away
Like you watched at fourteen as it went down the drain
And pops stayed the same and moms moved away
How many of our parents seem to make it anyway
We're just fumbling through the grey
Trying find a heart that's not walking away
Turn the lights down low
Walk these halls alone
We can feel so far from so close
Like ships in the night
You keep passing me by
We're just wasting time
Trying to prove who's right
And if it all goes crashing into the sea
If it's just you and me trying to find the light
Like ships in the night
You're passing me by
You're passing me by
Like ships in the night
And I'm at the airport waiting on a second plane
Had to pack and you had cramps and I was late
Headed to a red carpet they won't know my name
Riding in silence all that we wanna say
About to board when you call on the phone
You say "I'm sorry. I'll be waiting at home"
Feels like we're learning this out on our own
Trying to find a way down the road we don't know
Turn the lights down low
Walk these halls alone
We can feel so far from so close
Like ships in the night
You keep passing me by
We're just wasting time
Trying to prove who's right
And if it all goes crashing into the sea
If it's just you and me
Trying to find the light
Like ships in the night
You're passing me by
You're passing me by
Like ships in the night
You keep passing me by
We're just wasting time
Trying to prove who's right
And if it all goes crashing into the sea
If it's just you and me
Trying to find the light
Like ships in the night letting cannon balls fly
Say what you mean and it turns to a fight
Fist fly from my mouth as it turns south
You're down the driveway... I'm on the couch
Chasing your dreams since the violent 5th grade
Trying to believe in your silent own way
Cause we'll be ok... I'm not going away
Like you watched at fourteen as it went down the drain
And pops stayed the same and moms moved away
How many of our parents seem to make it anyway
We're just fumbling through the grey
Trying find a heart that's not walking away
Turn the lights down low
Walk these halls alone
We can feel so far from so close
Like ships in the night
You keep passing me by
We're just wasting time
Trying to prove who's right
And if it all goes crashing into the sea
If it's just you and me trying to find the light
Like ships in the night
You're passing me by
You're passing me by
Like ships in the night
And I'm at the airport waiting on a second plane
Had to pack and you had cramps and I was late
Headed to a red carpet they won't know my name
Riding in silence all that we wanna say
About to board when you call on the phone
You say "I'm sorry. I'll be waiting at home"
Feels like we're learning this out on our own
Trying to find a way down the road we don't know
Turn the lights down low
Walk these halls alone
We can feel so far from so close
Like ships in the night
You keep passing me by
We're just wasting time
Trying to prove who's right
And if it all goes crashing into the sea
If it's just you and me
Trying to find the light
Like ships in the night
You're passing me by
You're passing me by
Like ships in the night
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
What Makes the Earth?
Stars dim,
Black holes open,
Astroids thin,
Galaxies spin,
Bright lights glimmer,
Old stars shimmer,
Flickered craters appear
As spears in the atmosphere,
Clear as night,
Bright as day,
What makes the earth,
Go 'Round today?
Tides rush in,
Tornatic storms brew,
Green grass comes,
Hurricanes destroy youth,
Water runs dry,
As deserts cry, about as
Aloud, in doubt of,
Paper that speaks out,
As we drown,
In sorrow of the rain above,
Prayin to heavens for love, it's
Clear as night,
Bright as day,
What makes the earth,
Go 'Round today?
Changes come,
Changes go,
Wars are won,
As we battle foes,
On the edge,
Embracing the strength,
Of the ledge with our toes,
Towering up high,
As shattered windows collide,
From meterorites comin down,
Invading the cloudy sky, it's
Clear as night,
Bright as day,
What makes the earth,
Go 'Round today?
Ozone layers protect the rays,
Through deminional haze,
And as the smoke clears,
We run to the closest thing,
As the distance nears,
Rising as skyscrapers,
Satellites witnessing everything,
Every step, Every move
Reflects upon eyes in the moon,
And as the sun comes up
A reflection of myself,
Optics glaring into the everything else,
That I must prove to oneself, it's
Clear as night,
Bright as day,
What makes the earth,
Go 'Round today?
We do.
Black holes open,
Astroids thin,
Galaxies spin,
Bright lights glimmer,
Old stars shimmer,
Flickered craters appear
As spears in the atmosphere,
Clear as night,
Bright as day,
What makes the earth,
Go 'Round today?
Tides rush in,
Tornatic storms brew,
Green grass comes,
Hurricanes destroy youth,
Water runs dry,
As deserts cry, about as
Aloud, in doubt of,
Paper that speaks out,
As we drown,
In sorrow of the rain above,
Prayin to heavens for love, it's
Clear as night,
Bright as day,
What makes the earth,
Go 'Round today?
Changes come,
Changes go,
Wars are won,
As we battle foes,
On the edge,
Embracing the strength,
Of the ledge with our toes,
Towering up high,
As shattered windows collide,
From meterorites comin down,
Invading the cloudy sky, it's
Clear as night,
Bright as day,
What makes the earth,
Go 'Round today?
Ozone layers protect the rays,
Through deminional haze,
And as the smoke clears,
We run to the closest thing,
As the distance nears,
Rising as skyscrapers,
Satellites witnessing everything,
Every step, Every move
Reflects upon eyes in the moon,
And as the sun comes up
A reflection of myself,
Optics glaring into the everything else,
That I must prove to oneself, it's
Clear as night,
Bright as day,
What makes the earth,
Go 'Round today?
We do.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Blue Moon
Verse 1:
As I drift off into space, the galaxies await
Where a NASA spacecraft sits in place, where
My destiny lies, between the lines of faith
As we begin to escape the Milky Way
As I explode into the atmosphere,
Like a rocket ship full of jet fueled peers,
My greatest fear will be my greatest feat,
As the Shuttle gravitates me back off my feet
Chorus:
As flames deminish as the thrust runs dry
Reminded that we as men can fly,
And there is always room to try, but
I had to superman me, before I could get back to you
Misunderstood in ways ,but we we're breaking through
Cause love like this comes once in a blue moon.
Verse 2:
Witnessing shooting stars, as we break the sound barrier
As we pass by the approaching the Venus moons,
Lightspeed we reach, as I begin to wonder why
I had to go so far away just to be understood
I had to scorch pass the sun in the dark atmosphere
Before I was ever missed, as Andromeda appeared
Surpassing the constellations that never seemed so near
I was looking for myself out there with no fear
Chorus:
As flames deminish as the thrust runs dry
Reminded that we as men can fly,
And there is always room to try, but
I had to superman me, before I could get back to you
Misunderstood in ways, but we we're breaking through
Cause love like this comes once in a blue moon.
Bridge:
And as drops of Jupiter surpassed our eyes,
I starred at Earth thought the window glare
And it was plain for me to see, It was my only care
That nothing else mattered, as long as you were there
Verse 3:
One month felt like an infinite eternity,
Reminded that there was always time for change.
The Vows of Space time continums had rearranged,
My belief in whats real and that I could no longer be faced,
With adversity that fazed, me and that change was on it's milky way
Not there yet, but rocketships woke a mind that never embraced a day
As stardust falls from shooting sprees way up in the night sky
Earth looked so beautiful up there, realizing all we have is precious time
Chrous.
As flames deminish as the thrust runs dry
Reminded that we as men can fly,
And there is always room to try, but
I had to superman me, before I could get back to you
Misunderstood in ways ,but we we're breaking through
Cause love like this comes once in a blue moon.
As I drift off into space, the galaxies await
Where a NASA spacecraft sits in place, where
My destiny lies, between the lines of faith
As we begin to escape the Milky Way
As I explode into the atmosphere,
Like a rocket ship full of jet fueled peers,
My greatest fear will be my greatest feat,
As the Shuttle gravitates me back off my feet
Chorus:
As flames deminish as the thrust runs dry
Reminded that we as men can fly,
And there is always room to try, but
I had to superman me, before I could get back to you
Misunderstood in ways ,but we we're breaking through
Cause love like this comes once in a blue moon.
Verse 2:
Witnessing shooting stars, as we break the sound barrier
As we pass by the approaching the Venus moons,
Lightspeed we reach, as I begin to wonder why
I had to go so far away just to be understood
I had to scorch pass the sun in the dark atmosphere
Before I was ever missed, as Andromeda appeared
Surpassing the constellations that never seemed so near
I was looking for myself out there with no fear
Chorus:
As flames deminish as the thrust runs dry
Reminded that we as men can fly,
And there is always room to try, but
I had to superman me, before I could get back to you
Misunderstood in ways, but we we're breaking through
Cause love like this comes once in a blue moon.
Bridge:
And as drops of Jupiter surpassed our eyes,
I starred at Earth thought the window glare
And it was plain for me to see, It was my only care
That nothing else mattered, as long as you were there
Verse 3:
One month felt like an infinite eternity,
Reminded that there was always time for change.
The Vows of Space time continums had rearranged,
My belief in whats real and that I could no longer be faced,
With adversity that fazed, me and that change was on it's milky way
Not there yet, but rocketships woke a mind that never embraced a day
As stardust falls from shooting sprees way up in the night sky
Earth looked so beautiful up there, realizing all we have is precious time
Chrous.
As flames deminish as the thrust runs dry
Reminded that we as men can fly,
And there is always room to try, but
I had to superman me, before I could get back to you
Misunderstood in ways ,but we we're breaking through
Cause love like this comes once in a blue moon.
Friday, October 26, 2012
Glory Road
Broken homes and time zones,
No escaping whats left, though
We can't fight the present with our past
Leaves you travelin' down the wrong path, so
No matter how fast, your car or transmission go,
You're in neutral, while your minds in overdrive,
And your body, soul, and money become so far over-head
That you become so pretrified, as your two worlds collide
Like howie day in his prime, we search beyond a biblical guide,
Destiny's intertwined, while no "clock" can stop time,
But "watch" and you will get yours, as I will get mine,
This never ending game, is forever overtime
As were stuck in the ditches, like Model T's that errode,
The brink of death brings us all closer to the Glory Road.
.............................................................................................
The keys to victory aren't locked in wine cellors,
That's the key to this empiphany, no more sins-to-be
It makes no sense to me, we battle our scars in pools full of crimson tide
Drownin' in cianide, thats nearly choopers world wide,
We continue down our struggles, burnin rubber if we need be,
As we try and bandaid our problems with weegie boards in Fiji,
But thats just a temperary fix, allowing others to profit,
All caught up in the mix, of batters as we're broken down in sticks,
And our bones and elbows, take on most of the beatings,
Some choose to stay, while others are left retreating,
But now I'm here for the leading, no savior, just a man,
That understands, the pleading, for peace and the needing...
As Im on the phone with the reluctant highway patrol,
So I can break a path for all those searching for Glory Road.
....................................................................................................
Lets take a second to look at our broken mirrors on the wall,
Through our rise and falls, that fork in the road causes us all to stall,
Our self reflections reflect our hate, desires, from adolescence
We question, what we really see, scared of the infinite reality,
Our minds turn us all into fighters, as I become an arsonist writer,
Set fire to ignited flames, I bellow with words so deep it mellows
Learn to claim the yellow, and stop yelling, yeah stop dwelling,
These lyrics are spit in a way meant to touch the innocent,
So yall can repent the demons that you see in your scorching tent,
Made out of wood, but we'll rebuild it back made outta steel,
As I steal the hearts of all, with songs meant to heal, for real
I care more than all of you, and if you fall, I will be willingly,
To help you have a longer life expectancy, are you feeling me?
So as we lay down to sleep, dont wake me, cause im at peace
As I dream of the better days, while the,
Fogs a mist with no residue of cloudy haze
In a land where all my friends are foes, wait, reverse that, So,
Follow me, so we can continue down the highway in the lane of Glory Road...
No escaping whats left, though
We can't fight the present with our past
Leaves you travelin' down the wrong path, so
No matter how fast, your car or transmission go,
You're in neutral, while your minds in overdrive,
And your body, soul, and money become so far over-head
That you become so pretrified, as your two worlds collide
Like howie day in his prime, we search beyond a biblical guide,
Destiny's intertwined, while no "clock" can stop time,
But "watch" and you will get yours, as I will get mine,
This never ending game, is forever overtime
As were stuck in the ditches, like Model T's that errode,
The brink of death brings us all closer to the Glory Road.
.............................................................................................
The keys to victory aren't locked in wine cellors,
That's the key to this empiphany, no more sins-to-be
It makes no sense to me, we battle our scars in pools full of crimson tide
Drownin' in cianide, thats nearly choopers world wide,
We continue down our struggles, burnin rubber if we need be,
As we try and bandaid our problems with weegie boards in Fiji,
But thats just a temperary fix, allowing others to profit,
All caught up in the mix, of batters as we're broken down in sticks,
And our bones and elbows, take on most of the beatings,
Some choose to stay, while others are left retreating,
But now I'm here for the leading, no savior, just a man,
That understands, the pleading, for peace and the needing...
As Im on the phone with the reluctant highway patrol,
So I can break a path for all those searching for Glory Road.
....................................................................................................
Lets take a second to look at our broken mirrors on the wall,
Through our rise and falls, that fork in the road causes us all to stall,
Our self reflections reflect our hate, desires, from adolescence
We question, what we really see, scared of the infinite reality,
Our minds turn us all into fighters, as I become an arsonist writer,
Set fire to ignited flames, I bellow with words so deep it mellows
Learn to claim the yellow, and stop yelling, yeah stop dwelling,
These lyrics are spit in a way meant to touch the innocent,
So yall can repent the demons that you see in your scorching tent,
Made out of wood, but we'll rebuild it back made outta steel,
As I steal the hearts of all, with songs meant to heal, for real
I care more than all of you, and if you fall, I will be willingly,
To help you have a longer life expectancy, are you feeling me?
So as we lay down to sleep, dont wake me, cause im at peace
As I dream of the better days, while the,
Fogs a mist with no residue of cloudy haze
In a land where all my friends are foes, wait, reverse that, So,
Follow me, so we can continue down the highway in the lane of Glory Road...
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Take You Away
Well my friend, it's been too long
I can't remember where we went wrong
I made my peace, but I couldnt move on
So I picked up my notebook and wrote this song
Loving you is like a summer's day
You take all of my pain and my stress away
And for all of that, I feel I must say
You are truly beautiful in every single way
And hey, just know that I meant all the good I said
Thoughts of you always come to my head
I take with me all these dreams to bed
Cause I would go any place that you lead, so
I'll be here for a long time, see
I'll be making sure that you're feeling fine
And if you ever feel like it's just not your day
I'll be waiting in the morning just to take you away
But like I said, it's been too long
We said our words, and then you were gone
But when there was nothing left to say
I only wanted to go your way
Joy, you're like the sweetest thing I've ever known
And in your arms is a place I'd like to call home
You're always there even when I feel so alone
And the times when I feel like...
I just feel like the time has never been this right
We could go out tonight, and do everything but fight
So if you'll let me hold you, cause it's really been too long
Joy, I've been waiting all my life
I've been waiting for my breath to be taken away
You, you've got that something that I can't explain,
But as your man, this is what I'll say,
I'll be here for a long time
Yeah, I'll be making sure that you're feeling fine
And if you ever feel like it's just not your day
I'll be waiting in the morning just to take you away
I can't remember where we went wrong
I made my peace, but I couldnt move on
So I picked up my notebook and wrote this song
Loving you is like a summer's day
You take all of my pain and my stress away
And for all of that, I feel I must say
You are truly beautiful in every single way
And hey, just know that I meant all the good I said
Thoughts of you always come to my head
I take with me all these dreams to bed
Cause I would go any place that you lead, so
I'll be here for a long time, see
I'll be making sure that you're feeling fine
And if you ever feel like it's just not your day
I'll be waiting in the morning just to take you away
But like I said, it's been too long
We said our words, and then you were gone
But when there was nothing left to say
I only wanted to go your way
Joy, you're like the sweetest thing I've ever known
And in your arms is a place I'd like to call home
You're always there even when I feel so alone
And the times when I feel like...
I just feel like the time has never been this right
We could go out tonight, and do everything but fight
So if you'll let me hold you, cause it's really been too long
Joy, I've been waiting all my life
I've been waiting for my breath to be taken away
You, you've got that something that I can't explain,
But as your man, this is what I'll say,
I'll be here for a long time
Yeah, I'll be making sure that you're feeling fine
And if you ever feel like it's just not your day
I'll be waiting in the morning just to take you away
Monday, October 22, 2012
When The Waves Rush In, The Truth Comes Out.
Hey you...it's me again. It's been awhile, I know. I guess I've been spending the dark night oil trying to get myself back together. But I thought of you again last night as I layed down in bed. I had just cracked the window to let some fresh air in, and to add a little noise to my now known restless night. I felt the muggy breeze blowing in next to my bed, and by the time I was drifting off, the air began to mimic the waves of the endless rushing in tides in a distant tropical paradise. I guess we all have our happy place, and that was mine. Suddenly bringing a smile to my face. It's the little things I tell ya.
But to my restless night....It's something that's hard to understand. Thoughts running through you're end like a never ending maze. How you'd rather hurt everyone in this world, to not hurt her. And yet, you become the man of their past. The man you told yourself you would never become. But how can the one person that amplifies your anxiety, be the one person that fills the void in you're life? The idea of losing her scares you, so much that you unconsciously push her away. Even though you're already lost without her, but even while you're with that person, you still seek a form of foundation, a way to desynthensize the worries, and to recreate yourself from scratch to overcome the odds stacked up so high that no ladder could reach. For you...For her...For everyone surrounding you that has an impact on your life.
I used to keep things so bottled up that I would explode. But before that I had always been afraid to speak my mind because of the fear of what others would think. I wanted to be accepted, but if they knew the thoughts I had, it would drive them away. As much as I said I didn't care what people thought about me, I did, deep down. Now as I mature and become the man that I know I need to be, I've stopped caring. In the best possible way. I can speak my mind through music, through poems, and through blog entries that maybe no even reads. At least im getting it out there. Not to say I can't be honest with others to their face. I most certainly can, and have. But it's only turned out bad. Because when the waves rush in, the truth comes out. And most people can't handle that classification in reality. My intentions are to never hurt anyone though. And everything I touch, seems to fall apart. I battle this everyday. It's a good thing I'm a fighter.
But, theres always gonna be that moment in which someone describes you better than you even knew yourself and you become rendered speechless due to an unspoken, thought provoken mind. It's hard to hear the words in which you've tried to hide to the world around you. But sometimes they need to be said, and I've become one to dish it out, and no longer stand to have it dished out to me. I can't stand the thought of being abandoned or attacked. I instantly attack back. I have to. It's the only way I can find confidence in myself that I truly dont have.
Now I know I have my issues, and I'm the first to confront them. That way no one has anything to use against me. It's reminiscence of the final scene in 8 mile. Where B Rabbit disses himself in front of a crowd of people who have antaginized him throughout, just so the other guy wouldnt have anything to use against him. It's reformed reality, and a perceptual thought that allows someone to do this, but most of all, it takes strength in oneself. A will to overcome all odds, and defeat the demons that we all must fight everyday. I'm fighting mine, but it gets easier everyday. Hoping someday I can be forgiven for all the bad I've caused. I'm on the brink of forgiving myself, and that's the first step. I know this because the waves are rushing in, and the truth is coming out. I will confide in it for now, to set me free.
But to my restless night....It's something that's hard to understand. Thoughts running through you're end like a never ending maze. How you'd rather hurt everyone in this world, to not hurt her. And yet, you become the man of their past. The man you told yourself you would never become. But how can the one person that amplifies your anxiety, be the one person that fills the void in you're life? The idea of losing her scares you, so much that you unconsciously push her away. Even though you're already lost without her, but even while you're with that person, you still seek a form of foundation, a way to desynthensize the worries, and to recreate yourself from scratch to overcome the odds stacked up so high that no ladder could reach. For you...For her...For everyone surrounding you that has an impact on your life.
I used to keep things so bottled up that I would explode. But before that I had always been afraid to speak my mind because of the fear of what others would think. I wanted to be accepted, but if they knew the thoughts I had, it would drive them away. As much as I said I didn't care what people thought about me, I did, deep down. Now as I mature and become the man that I know I need to be, I've stopped caring. In the best possible way. I can speak my mind through music, through poems, and through blog entries that maybe no even reads. At least im getting it out there. Not to say I can't be honest with others to their face. I most certainly can, and have. But it's only turned out bad. Because when the waves rush in, the truth comes out. And most people can't handle that classification in reality. My intentions are to never hurt anyone though. And everything I touch, seems to fall apart. I battle this everyday. It's a good thing I'm a fighter.
But, theres always gonna be that moment in which someone describes you better than you even knew yourself and you become rendered speechless due to an unspoken, thought provoken mind. It's hard to hear the words in which you've tried to hide to the world around you. But sometimes they need to be said, and I've become one to dish it out, and no longer stand to have it dished out to me. I can't stand the thought of being abandoned or attacked. I instantly attack back. I have to. It's the only way I can find confidence in myself that I truly dont have.
Now I know I have my issues, and I'm the first to confront them. That way no one has anything to use against me. It's reminiscence of the final scene in 8 mile. Where B Rabbit disses himself in front of a crowd of people who have antaginized him throughout, just so the other guy wouldnt have anything to use against him. It's reformed reality, and a perceptual thought that allows someone to do this, but most of all, it takes strength in oneself. A will to overcome all odds, and defeat the demons that we all must fight everyday. I'm fighting mine, but it gets easier everyday. Hoping someday I can be forgiven for all the bad I've caused. I'm on the brink of forgiving myself, and that's the first step. I know this because the waves are rushing in, and the truth is coming out. I will confide in it for now, to set me free.
Fast Car: Remix
Intro:
You got a fast car,
Is it fast so we can fly away,
We gotta make a decision,
Maybe together we can get somewhere
Any place is better,
Starting from zero, got nothing to lose
Maybe we'll make something
But me, myself, I got nothing to prove
Verse :
Yeah, I got some fast cars,
In fact, enough to count on 2 hands,
They're breath taking like fine art,
But they're just there to feel the void I never had...
But I continue to dream about them fast cars,
And everybody starin, feeling eyes from the dark far,
Even if they think im compensatin, look where you are,
Worry about yourself, but man I gotta kind heart,
All I ask is to not rip my notebook apart.
Thinkin about the end game, damn I needa new start,
From zero to a hero, in 3 second, as fast as ariel atoms slash go cart,
These hypocritics think they so sharp, jealous, but play it cool like school smart,
Me? Im sweeter than pop tarts, but everything I touch, just seems to fall apart...
Caught in this rat trap, kick out the damn kick stand, after my fast lap,
Rememberin' back to those nap sacks, eatin lunch in the corner of jacks crab shack,
Now how about that? Let me backtrack, I remember when all I had was books and a backpack,
Sometimes I felt in visible, Wishin I was broke, in need of a mystical cloak,
Instead Im lost thinkin' bout buyin a boat, Tired of feelin alone, on my own.
Sewn up shut, just how I cope, with the everybody testin me,
Till I came to realize I had control of my own destiny,
Couldn't live my life like this and continue to suffer losses,
Sittin in my oval office, one day these words wont be for-me, so yall better cop this...
But theres not enough time to tell the whole story, but ill be here with my nuts, guts, and glory,
Outro:
You got a fast car
Is it fast enough so we can fly away
We gotta make a decision
Maybe together we can get somewhere
Anyplace is better
Starting from zero got nothing to lose
Maybe we'll make something
But me myself I got nothing to prove.
You got a fast car,
Is it fast so we can fly away,
We gotta make a decision,
Maybe together we can get somewhere
Any place is better,
Starting from zero, got nothing to lose
Maybe we'll make something
But me, myself, I got nothing to prove
Verse :
Yeah, I got some fast cars,
In fact, enough to count on 2 hands,
They're breath taking like fine art,
But they're just there to feel the void I never had...
But I continue to dream about them fast cars,
And everybody starin, feeling eyes from the dark far,
Even if they think im compensatin, look where you are,
Worry about yourself, but man I gotta kind heart,
All I ask is to not rip my notebook apart.
Thinkin about the end game, damn I needa new start,
From zero to a hero, in 3 second, as fast as ariel atoms slash go cart,
These hypocritics think they so sharp, jealous, but play it cool like school smart,
Me? Im sweeter than pop tarts, but everything I touch, just seems to fall apart...
Caught in this rat trap, kick out the damn kick stand, after my fast lap,
Rememberin' back to those nap sacks, eatin lunch in the corner of jacks crab shack,
Now how about that? Let me backtrack, I remember when all I had was books and a backpack,
Sometimes I felt in visible, Wishin I was broke, in need of a mystical cloak,
Instead Im lost thinkin' bout buyin a boat, Tired of feelin alone, on my own.
Sewn up shut, just how I cope, with the everybody testin me,
Till I came to realize I had control of my own destiny,
Couldn't live my life like this and continue to suffer losses,
Sittin in my oval office, one day these words wont be for-me, so yall better cop this...
But theres not enough time to tell the whole story, but ill be here with my nuts, guts, and glory,
Outro:
You got a fast car
Is it fast enough so we can fly away
We gotta make a decision
Maybe together we can get somewhere
Anyplace is better
Starting from zero got nothing to lose
Maybe we'll make something
But me myself I got nothing to prove.
Friday, October 19, 2012
Rage Machine Against Me: Part One
If I could recapture the days,
Of youth in which all the games we played,
Had no consequence, those dazed in faze,
Now it's such a sickening haze, those bloody rays,
See the sun shinin', nah aint been seen in days,
Look at the mess the government has made....
The constitution judge we the people so falsely
Those nazi's wont re-write it due to their hypocracy,
They dont care if this nation embrace we,
Congress started blood baths, to busy hatin, they lazy
Soon as they come on the news, im pissed off
Runnin' their mouths, falicies spewin out, then cough...
We see innocent people dying, why are the guilty never in doubt
And all thats dead and gone will soon be pardoned with,
A new legilation of angries as my right fight ignites shit,
I refuse to back down, ill grit my teeth, swallowed pride that spikes it
My tight fist, crush ice, its frost bite, flow so cold I exercise the right-ious
Constantly bein critisized by the knives that wifes flick,
Paper articles bein ignored, writers bored, Pen in hand, pencil and pad,
But when we give up on those, who pour their souls out, they become a silent wrist...
Speak up, the spoken word is powerful,
Im tired of re-seein the twin towers fall,
Tired of being phoned by canditates askin to accept their call,
Our current speaker of the house couldnt battle,
A war of words against me, let alone all of yall
Teamed up, Scotty may not know but he's to busy getting beamed up
Wait what? The point is we're to busy lightin people up,
Instead of re-formin' our government and re-viewing our empty cup,
"Im gonna change this, Im gonna change that" politicians talkin' out their ass,
Radio stations can use their rediciulous censorship crap, change it to talkin out their butts
The point comes across either way, just dont ignore the words by silencing our freedom of speech
Before you know it we'll be overthrown, and so far in debt, that survival will be to far outta reach.
It's the...Rage Machine, Against Me.
Of youth in which all the games we played,
Had no consequence, those dazed in faze,
Now it's such a sickening haze, those bloody rays,
See the sun shinin', nah aint been seen in days,
Look at the mess the government has made....
The constitution judge we the people so falsely
Those nazi's wont re-write it due to their hypocracy,
They dont care if this nation embrace we,
Congress started blood baths, to busy hatin, they lazy
Soon as they come on the news, im pissed off
Runnin' their mouths, falicies spewin out, then cough...
We see innocent people dying, why are the guilty never in doubt
And all thats dead and gone will soon be pardoned with,
A new legilation of angries as my right fight ignites shit,
I refuse to back down, ill grit my teeth, swallowed pride that spikes it
My tight fist, crush ice, its frost bite, flow so cold I exercise the right-ious
Constantly bein critisized by the knives that wifes flick,
Paper articles bein ignored, writers bored, Pen in hand, pencil and pad,
But when we give up on those, who pour their souls out, they become a silent wrist...
Speak up, the spoken word is powerful,
Im tired of re-seein the twin towers fall,
Tired of being phoned by canditates askin to accept their call,
Our current speaker of the house couldnt battle,
A war of words against me, let alone all of yall
Teamed up, Scotty may not know but he's to busy getting beamed up
Wait what? The point is we're to busy lightin people up,
Instead of re-formin' our government and re-viewing our empty cup,
"Im gonna change this, Im gonna change that" politicians talkin' out their ass,
Radio stations can use their rediciulous censorship crap, change it to talkin out their butts
The point comes across either way, just dont ignore the words by silencing our freedom of speech
Before you know it we'll be overthrown, and so far in debt, that survival will be to far outta reach.
It's the...Rage Machine, Against Me.
Faded
As the spots begin to fade,
The thoughts begin to change,
Inspiration, and motivation once revoked,
Times come to finally change my un-emotional daze,
Always dreamt of the better days, to come my way,
Before I choked on words before they came out my throat.
They deminish, so I can finally finish,
Where I had once started, I feel replenished,
For the first time, hell I can't even remember,
I think it was back in 2009, the beginining of december
That I remember feeling this fresh to death,
And now I wear my tightest vest, now
You can call me Johnny as im on a new Quest
.
It's all been a blessin' in adolesence
Learning to live life in all of its essence,
Though sometimes we fall into the darkest thoughts,
To all of our un-answered questions,
Till we begin a new lesson without a smith and wesson,
This is my new declaration to the present.
The old me's gone, the new me returns,
He's gonna stay here long, the old me burns,
The ashes and fire inside are targeted in a new direction,
No longer looking through the eyes with un-emotional connections
Just love life, simple glance of complexions, are now stabilized affection,
Peace and serenity, it all complexities, wasn't always easy,
But now it's the remedy, to Project Confession.
So my dedication goes out to all those with admiration,
Scolding in the flames, no where near a fire station,
And when the water has ran dry, and your faced with defeat
It's ok to fall, as long as you get back up on your feet, cause
I know how it feels to have a heart filled with concrete,
With no appetite to eat, only desire is to fleet,
But no matter who you are, you're mirrors are reflections of deceit
Now it's time we all fly as high as the elite.
Faded
The thoughts begin to change,
Inspiration, and motivation once revoked,
Times come to finally change my un-emotional daze,
Always dreamt of the better days, to come my way,
Before I choked on words before they came out my throat.
They deminish, so I can finally finish,
Where I had once started, I feel replenished,
For the first time, hell I can't even remember,
I think it was back in 2009, the beginining of december
That I remember feeling this fresh to death,
And now I wear my tightest vest, now
You can call me Johnny as im on a new Quest
.
It's all been a blessin' in adolesence
Learning to live life in all of its essence,
Though sometimes we fall into the darkest thoughts,
To all of our un-answered questions,
Till we begin a new lesson without a smith and wesson,
This is my new declaration to the present.
The old me's gone, the new me returns,
He's gonna stay here long, the old me burns,
The ashes and fire inside are targeted in a new direction,
No longer looking through the eyes with un-emotional connections
Just love life, simple glance of complexions, are now stabilized affection,
Peace and serenity, it all complexities, wasn't always easy,
But now it's the remedy, to Project Confession.
So my dedication goes out to all those with admiration,
Scolding in the flames, no where near a fire station,
And when the water has ran dry, and your faced with defeat
It's ok to fall, as long as you get back up on your feet, cause
I know how it feels to have a heart filled with concrete,
With no appetite to eat, only desire is to fleet,
But no matter who you are, you're mirrors are reflections of deceit
Now it's time we all fly as high as the elite.
Faded
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Dear Dad: The Lake Story
Dear Dad,
I remember when I was thirteen, I was on the way to the Hulah lake. To go fishing with you one evening. Rolling up in brief daylight, I could hear the wake washing up against the rocks. In the corner of our eyes, we saw a father and child in a broken down car on the side of the road. They were living in it, but as we looked closer the man was beating his son. You saw a gun flashing through the window and you immediately stopped the Trans Am. At this time, it was still in mint condition, only 35 thousand miles on it. I remember because I had just waxed it for you. At that time it was nearly 20 years old. It was a thing of beauty. I know you remember.
But needless to say, without thinking twice. You stopped the car. Got out, and banged on the driver side window of the strangers car, with no weapon but your fist. Even though the guy had a gun attached to his wrist. You damn near broke the window banging on it. The guy finally got out of the car, and you grabbed him. Even though the guy outweighed you by nearly 100 pounds. I remember you throwing him up against the car. Grabbed the gun and told him, “I don’t ever want to see this again” then you through the gun down on the banks of the shore, where it landed in a rocky scenary. The guy was petrified. You had this look in your eyes, dad. I was afraid you were going to kill him so I yelled out dad, “come back” I was young, and frightened, but you had no fear what so ever. You sacrificed your life to protect a child you had no connection with.
A lot of people don’t understand you, or even get along with you because of the way you are. But I will never forget this moment, or ever judge you in a bad way. You are the definition of a man. To target the anger you had after your divorce and loss of your father, towards a proper cause. It was amazing. I remember you then shoving the man in the car. Told him “don’t let me catch you doing this again, I have your plate number. I will find you, and I will kill you” It was exactly like the scene from Taken. I kid you not. Which just so happens to be one of your favorite movies. Ironic isn't it?
Reminiscing on it now. The man was a coward, And do I believe in murder? No, but to an extent. I believe in an eye for an eye, and that man deserved to be put in his place. And as much as my you wanted to kill him right there, you wouldn’t. because you knew the consequence and you knew how it would effect Cory and I. I believe today dad, that you saved that kids life, and put the fear of some kind of god in the man that was doing such. This all ties into the bullying today. And you taught me to never put up with it. You dont fuck with kids. They’re precious, they’re innocent, they don’t know any better. It’s called growing up for a reason. We live and we learn, every single day of our lives. You taught me this. You and mom.
But to get back on point…Dad…Thank you for that moment and memory. I was 120 pounds at most at that time. A little boy. Now I’m a rock solid 177. Only 5’9-5-10’. I box everyday to control my anger, teaching myself by studying classic film in my 10 thousand fight collection. By never missing a match on television. By training my mind, by increasing my power, my speed, by increasing my will, and learning how to target fear. I got this from you dad, and if I ever run across a similar situation, no gun, no knife, not anything, will stop me from saving a kids life. Nothing. I will forever follow in your footsteps. No matter what comes my way, I will confront it with the right outlook, and for a positive cause. Dad, this started off as a song in dedication of you, but it became much more than that. Now it's just a letter, a letter you may never read. But that moment changed my life and inspired me to put myself in the position to where Im ready for war, Im ready to help, Im ready to save, at any given moment. For awhile there, I couldn’t control the anger, but now im more dangerous than ever, in a good way, and for a better cause.
Thanks Dad,
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Let's Stop...
Intro:
This one goes out to all those that have suffered in any kind of way,
Whether it be a victim of violence, racism, hate, or abuse
Even unjust wrongs, or even unjust rights, its our decision to choose,
Whoever you are, whoever's been affected by the world we live in today,
And the corruption that is taking way, Lets stop... and put it in it's place
Lets stop the rapes,
Lets end the hate, on race,
Lets stop the outrage, today
It's better if we stop it now,
Lets stop before we get to bent outta shape.
Before we all need consultations,
Cause every relation cant be based on hatred,
Followed with foul language, lets vanquish the anguish,
The thankless, and modify the shameless,
It's dangerous to live in such a hositle in-vane-ment
Due to degradations, in society
These crimes come in all shapes and varieties,
And our corrupt government are to blind-to-see
Word to the wise, we're not comprimising...
Lets stop the rapes,
Lets end the hate,
Lets stop the outrage, today
It's better if we stop it now,
Lets stop before we get to bent outta shape.
Tired of all the outkasts,
Thinking their just a piece of trash,
And instead of trying to outlast,
They cash in, an uproar that backlashes,
It back-flashes, to a time where everything wasn't so outlandish,
We'd jump in the Mach 1, and try to outrun, light
It's back to the future with Marty in sight,
The past was so bright, compared to the present
Cause Christmas isn't always pleasant,
The holiday that tends to start fights...
Lets stop the rapes,
Lets end the hate,
Lets stop the outrage, today
It's better if we stop it now,
Lets stop before we get to bent outta shape.
So lets us Mcfly to the future,
We need an Obama translator,
And I like the sound of Luther,
Now thats a key and peele reference
We all seemed to be dealt a deathwish
But Let's Stop...and start off fresh,
Write a letter in your tightest vest, and seal with a kiss
We can stop the anxiety, say we do it for lint
If you believe in that stint, Truth of the matter is,
We're all guilty till we're proven innocent, Damn,
Well we might as well legalize the "prove it", so prudent...so,
Lets stop the rapes,
Lets end the hate,
Lets stop the outrage, today
It's better if we stop it now,
Lets stop before we get to bent outta shape.
This one goes out to all those that have suffered in any kind of way,
Whether it be a victim of violence, racism, hate, or abuse
Even unjust wrongs, or even unjust rights, its our decision to choose,
Whoever you are, whoever's been affected by the world we live in today,
And the corruption that is taking way, Lets stop... and put it in it's place
Lets stop the rapes,
Lets end the hate, on race,
Lets stop the outrage, today
It's better if we stop it now,
Lets stop before we get to bent outta shape.
Before we all need consultations,
Cause every relation cant be based on hatred,
Followed with foul language, lets vanquish the anguish,
The thankless, and modify the shameless,
It's dangerous to live in such a hositle in-vane-ment
Due to degradations, in society
These crimes come in all shapes and varieties,
And our corrupt government are to blind-to-see
Word to the wise, we're not comprimising...
Lets stop the rapes,
Lets end the hate,
Lets stop the outrage, today
It's better if we stop it now,
Lets stop before we get to bent outta shape.
Tired of all the outkasts,
Thinking their just a piece of trash,
And instead of trying to outlast,
They cash in, an uproar that backlashes,
It back-flashes, to a time where everything wasn't so outlandish,
We'd jump in the Mach 1, and try to outrun, light
It's back to the future with Marty in sight,
The past was so bright, compared to the present
Cause Christmas isn't always pleasant,
The holiday that tends to start fights...
Lets stop the rapes,
Lets end the hate,
Lets stop the outrage, today
It's better if we stop it now,
Lets stop before we get to bent outta shape.
So lets us Mcfly to the future,
We need an Obama translator,
And I like the sound of Luther,
Now thats a key and peele reference
We all seemed to be dealt a deathwish
But Let's Stop...and start off fresh,
Write a letter in your tightest vest, and seal with a kiss
We can stop the anxiety, say we do it for lint
If you believe in that stint, Truth of the matter is,
We're all guilty till we're proven innocent, Damn,
Well we might as well legalize the "prove it", so prudent...so,
Lets stop the rapes,
Lets end the hate,
Lets stop the outrage, today
It's better if we stop it now,
Lets stop before we get to bent outta shape.
Monday, October 15, 2012
To All The Believers
This ones for all of you,
All of you that have stood beside me,
Read my work, and kept your opinions to yourself,
Whether your critiques were good or bad,
It meant more to me than you could ever dream.
I strive everyday to reach someone,
A kid, a mother, a father, my future daughters and sons,
If they could find comfort in my understandings,
Then i'll never give up this dream,
Cause yall give me an intensity to remedy,
Now throw away all those bottles of empty Hennessey.
So, To all the believers, out there,
As long you remain true, I'll continue to care
I'll continue to write to each and every one of you
This is our anthem, even if it may have already been done
To all the believers, I'll stay as true they come, as long as you do too.
We can do this together, we can fight battles,
And even if we shatter, the point of all of this,
Is that if we do it together, thats really all that matters
We'll succeed as such, and die as one
An eternity of fires, that never burn hotter,
Than when we hold hands and embrace the sun...
You, just you, never have to be forgotten to be forgivin,
You read in a book, even in imagination, we all continue to sin
But you got to lift yourself off the floor in order to come back,
In order to win, pretend the day never happened,
Start back at one, because you can't end, unless you begin...
So, To all the believers, out there,
As long you remain true, I'll continue to care
I'll continue to write to each and every one of you
This is our anthem, even if it may have already been done
To all the believers, I'll stay as true they come, as long as you do too.
All of you that have stood beside me,
Read my work, and kept your opinions to yourself,
Whether your critiques were good or bad,
It meant more to me than you could ever dream.
I strive everyday to reach someone,
A kid, a mother, a father, my future daughters and sons,
If they could find comfort in my understandings,
Then i'll never give up this dream,
Cause yall give me an intensity to remedy,
Now throw away all those bottles of empty Hennessey.
So, To all the believers, out there,
As long you remain true, I'll continue to care
I'll continue to write to each and every one of you
This is our anthem, even if it may have already been done
To all the believers, I'll stay as true they come, as long as you do too.
We can do this together, we can fight battles,
And even if we shatter, the point of all of this,
Is that if we do it together, thats really all that matters
We'll succeed as such, and die as one
An eternity of fires, that never burn hotter,
Than when we hold hands and embrace the sun...
You, just you, never have to be forgotten to be forgivin,
You read in a book, even in imagination, we all continue to sin
But you got to lift yourself off the floor in order to come back,
In order to win, pretend the day never happened,
Start back at one, because you can't end, unless you begin...
So, To all the believers, out there,
As long you remain true, I'll continue to care
I'll continue to write to each and every one of you
This is our anthem, even if it may have already been done
To all the believers, I'll stay as true they come, as long as you do too.
No Longer
Stops to shine, end this life of crime, up in my mind,
It's a new day and I'm 'bout to see another watch end time,
Get it? Well you got if you're into the precision kind,
A sign of a life that used to be sublime,
Is comin back with words, ones that are only mine,
Im tired livin the life of an unspoken, sad little mime.
And if you heard this verse, you'd probabley think I'd come at you flagrantly,
I'd use to wish you were in hurse, Now I bless you thankfully,
No more of these angrily, contradicting vacancies,
I was lost, now found, finally livin' life without changin' lanes to be, me.
No longer wishin' necks in guillitines,
No longer burnin bridges, just outta remedies,
No longer hatin on ya, even if ya fake ya see
I gotta lot of heart for yall, even when I'm dangiling,
By a string, I have more will, than any yall have ever seen.
I no longer have a broken heart,
There's not a better place to start,
Even when times got rough, I confided in my words,
Cause sometimes they were all I had,
I was my own wolf pack, even in a pack of hurds.
But now, I no longer walk alone,
I no longer seek fullfillness in a phone,
I'm no longer traveling down a unknown road,
I no longer speak in that demonic tone,
Because I know, I'm never gonna stop,
Until I'm like the tip of the Great Pyramid, Comin out on top
No longer wishin' necks in guillitines,
No longer burnin bridges, just outta remedies,
No longer hatin on ya, even if ya fake ya see
I gotta lot of heart for yall, even when I'm dangiling,
By a string, I have more will, than any yall have ever seen.
I felt my fist were this universes protection,
My universal connection, to all that needed a new direction
But I no longer need advice, I'm seeking my own inspections
No longer gonna stop, until I hear the applause at the end of my reception.
How's that for lookin the mirror and seein' an acceptable reflection?
It's a new day and I'm 'bout to see another watch end time,
Get it? Well you got if you're into the precision kind,
A sign of a life that used to be sublime,
Is comin back with words, ones that are only mine,
Im tired livin the life of an unspoken, sad little mime.
And if you heard this verse, you'd probabley think I'd come at you flagrantly,
I'd use to wish you were in hurse, Now I bless you thankfully,
No more of these angrily, contradicting vacancies,
I was lost, now found, finally livin' life without changin' lanes to be, me.
No longer wishin' necks in guillitines,
No longer burnin bridges, just outta remedies,
No longer hatin on ya, even if ya fake ya see
I gotta lot of heart for yall, even when I'm dangiling,
By a string, I have more will, than any yall have ever seen.
I no longer have a broken heart,
There's not a better place to start,
Even when times got rough, I confided in my words,
Cause sometimes they were all I had,
I was my own wolf pack, even in a pack of hurds.
But now, I no longer walk alone,
I no longer seek fullfillness in a phone,
I'm no longer traveling down a unknown road,
I no longer speak in that demonic tone,
Because I know, I'm never gonna stop,
Until I'm like the tip of the Great Pyramid, Comin out on top
No longer wishin' necks in guillitines,
No longer burnin bridges, just outta remedies,
No longer hatin on ya, even if ya fake ya see
I gotta lot of heart for yall, even when I'm dangiling,
By a string, I have more will, than any yall have ever seen.
I felt my fist were this universes protection,
My universal connection, to all that needed a new direction
But I no longer need advice, I'm seeking my own inspections
No longer gonna stop, until I hear the applause at the end of my reception.
How's that for lookin the mirror and seein' an acceptable reflection?
Chances
Chances are...
Nothing will last forever,
Chances are...
No matter how many times we "Never say Never"
And Chances are...
All lose strings will soon be severed.
Chances are...
You'll end up going in different directions
Chances are...
Nothing will live up to your expectations.
And Chances are...
There's no lock with the the perfect combination.
Chances are..
Second chances come around with fascinations.
Chances are...
When said and done, we'll find a new equation,
And Chances are...
In all possibilities, will find sorts of hesitations.
Chances are...
All hope will be lost eventually,
Chances are...
All freedom comes so consequently,
And Chances are...
Someone else's shoes are not meant to be seen.
Chances are...
Who will be the lucky ones?
When everything is said and done...
That will make it out ok?
Chances are...
I will be one of the ones...
But Chances are...
They only come once in a lifetime
And Chances are...
Dont miss out on all the lime light,
Cause Chances are...
You'll never get a chance to see all of this again
And Chances are...
Im righter than your wrongs have ever been...
Nothing will last forever,
Chances are...
No matter how many times we "Never say Never"
And Chances are...
All lose strings will soon be severed.
Chances are...
You'll end up going in different directions
Chances are...
Nothing will live up to your expectations.
And Chances are...
There's no lock with the the perfect combination.
Chances are..
Second chances come around with fascinations.
Chances are...
When said and done, we'll find a new equation,
And Chances are...
In all possibilities, will find sorts of hesitations.
Chances are...
All hope will be lost eventually,
Chances are...
All freedom comes so consequently,
And Chances are...
Someone else's shoes are not meant to be seen.
Chances are...
Who will be the lucky ones?
When everything is said and done...
That will make it out ok?
Chances are...
I will be one of the ones...
But Chances are...
They only come once in a lifetime
And Chances are...
Dont miss out on all the lime light,
Cause Chances are...
You'll never get a chance to see all of this again
And Chances are...
Im righter than your wrongs have ever been...
Started With Two
If we stopped toying with bad and evil,
We'd probably turn out to all be better people,
Whats sad is I dont see it happening it anytime soon,
But it's time we stop seeing ourself as better than who?
Because deep down we were all created as equals.
Leave it to religion to corrupt our minds,
And thats not a diss at God this time,
I've found that I may very well believe in this higher power,
But these churches I put on the stand and question,
And I dont think Im alone in this kind,
Of thinking...
Let us begin in the beginning,
It all Started with Two...
Adam and Eve, just like me and you
An ancestry that connects us all
So thinking back, we're all distant relatives,
Yet why do remain false in a family of truth?
If you're finding you have to many troubles,
Just remember, It all Started with Two...
No one has to suffer from a one man army,
Even if you need a shoulder to cry on, you got me,
You got many people here to protect you from any harm,
If it takes a strong arm, or a mighty fist, maybe some witty charm,
Regardless of the cause, we all sprouted from the same tree,
So why not join in, in this epiphany, you're just another version of me.
If you dont follow what Im sayin,
And like me, have a problem with prayin'
Like every night, every days out, every Days Inn
Finding comfort in hotel rooms just for a bed to sleep in'
Confide in something, a God, a person, a friend,
We're all here with our many problems,
But dont overlook them, help solve them,
Theirs may in fact be worse than your's in the end.
Let us begin in the beginning,
It all Started with Two...
Adam and Eve, just like me and you
An ancestry that connects us all
So thinking back, we're all distant relatives,
Yet why do remain false in a family of truth?
If you're finding you have to many troubles,
Just remember, It all Started with Two...
We'd probably turn out to all be better people,
Whats sad is I dont see it happening it anytime soon,
But it's time we stop seeing ourself as better than who?
Because deep down we were all created as equals.
Leave it to religion to corrupt our minds,
And thats not a diss at God this time,
I've found that I may very well believe in this higher power,
But these churches I put on the stand and question,
And I dont think Im alone in this kind,
Of thinking...
Let us begin in the beginning,
It all Started with Two...
Adam and Eve, just like me and you
An ancestry that connects us all
So thinking back, we're all distant relatives,
Yet why do remain false in a family of truth?
If you're finding you have to many troubles,
Just remember, It all Started with Two...
No one has to suffer from a one man army,
Even if you need a shoulder to cry on, you got me,
You got many people here to protect you from any harm,
If it takes a strong arm, or a mighty fist, maybe some witty charm,
Regardless of the cause, we all sprouted from the same tree,
So why not join in, in this epiphany, you're just another version of me.
If you dont follow what Im sayin,
And like me, have a problem with prayin'
Like every night, every days out, every Days Inn
Finding comfort in hotel rooms just for a bed to sleep in'
Confide in something, a God, a person, a friend,
We're all here with our many problems,
But dont overlook them, help solve them,
Theirs may in fact be worse than your's in the end.
Let us begin in the beginning,
It all Started with Two...
Adam and Eve, just like me and you
An ancestry that connects us all
So thinking back, we're all distant relatives,
Yet why do remain false in a family of truth?
If you're finding you have to many troubles,
Just remember, It all Started with Two...
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Change
House of Wonders, House of Pain,
Looking out for all the things, that I have tried to Rearrange.
Boiling Water, Burning Sun,
Holding on to memories, of everything that I've done,
Change is coming, and change is good.
It's not everything that I wished it were,
But it stands so tall, and it walks so strong,
It's takin over me
Change is coming, and change is good
It's done everything, I hoped it would,
But it keeps me awake at night.
Worn out shoe souls, Hurting Pride
Making sense of all the places I've been on the inside.
Hands are hurting, Waking nights
Now I wonder why I ever wanted to start this fight,
Change is coming, and change is good.
It's not everything that I wished it were,
But it stands so tall, and it walks so strong,
It's takin over me
Change is coming, and change is good
It's done everything, I hoped it would,
But it keeps me awake at night.
You're beauty, You're great...
I thank you for all the times you managed to keep me in my place
As red leaves fall, Into love,
Watching as the wind fills the mind of my own turtle dove.
Change is coming, and change is good.
It's not everything that I wished it were,
But it stands so tall, and it walks so strong,
It's takin over me
Change is coming, and change is good
It's done everything, I hoped it would,
But it keeps me awake at night.
It keeps me awake at night.
Looking out for all the things, that I have tried to Rearrange.
Boiling Water, Burning Sun,
Holding on to memories, of everything that I've done,
Change is coming, and change is good.
It's not everything that I wished it were,
But it stands so tall, and it walks so strong,
It's takin over me
Change is coming, and change is good
It's done everything, I hoped it would,
But it keeps me awake at night.
Worn out shoe souls, Hurting Pride
Making sense of all the places I've been on the inside.
Hands are hurting, Waking nights
Now I wonder why I ever wanted to start this fight,
Change is coming, and change is good.
It's not everything that I wished it were,
But it stands so tall, and it walks so strong,
It's takin over me
Change is coming, and change is good
It's done everything, I hoped it would,
But it keeps me awake at night.
You're beauty, You're great...
I thank you for all the times you managed to keep me in my place
As red leaves fall, Into love,
Watching as the wind fills the mind of my own turtle dove.
Change is coming, and change is good.
It's not everything that I wished it were,
But it stands so tall, and it walks so strong,
It's takin over me
Change is coming, and change is good
It's done everything, I hoped it would,
But it keeps me awake at night.
It keeps me awake at night.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Chains
They say that I'm a dreamer
That makes me a believer
Even got it linked up in my arms
I've been thinking, man I got a reason
Make a plan and start all over
See we all could be happy people
If we stop feeding our own egos
And live our lives right where we are
Instead of where we wanna be
Are you ready to break these chains
Are you ready to find a way
We were meant for more than this
Times is all we got to give
We don't have to live this way
Are you ready to break these chains
This ain't no fairy tale
I made life long friends in hell
I love them 'til the day I die
You remind me a little of me
And there's nothing we can't change
See we all could be happy people
If we stop feeding our own egos
And live our lives right where we are
Instead of where we wanna be
Are you ready to break these chains
Are you ready to find a way
We were meant for more than this
Times is all we got to give
We don't have to live this way
Are you ready to break these chains
Ready to break these chains
I've been locked down chained to my own thoughts
Now I rock out break out my own box
I'm so blessed I'm so happy it's so right
I'm fresh dressed my best vest is so tight
That's what I'm saying
Crazy in a whole another lane that's amazing
Just to let you know I'm coming from the other side
Still I'll always be a kid in my mother's eyes
See we all could be happy people
If we stop feeding our own egos
And live our lives right where we are
Instead of where we wanna be
Are you ready to break these chains
Are you ready to find a way
We were meant for more than this
Times is all we got to give
We don't have to live this way
Are you ready to break these chains
Ready to break these chains
That makes me a believer
Even got it linked up in my arms
I've been thinking, man I got a reason
Make a plan and start all over
See we all could be happy people
If we stop feeding our own egos
And live our lives right where we are
Instead of where we wanna be
Are you ready to break these chains
Are you ready to find a way
We were meant for more than this
Times is all we got to give
We don't have to live this way
Are you ready to break these chains
This ain't no fairy tale
I made life long friends in hell
I love them 'til the day I die
You remind me a little of me
And there's nothing we can't change
See we all could be happy people
If we stop feeding our own egos
And live our lives right where we are
Instead of where we wanna be
Are you ready to break these chains
Are you ready to find a way
We were meant for more than this
Times is all we got to give
We don't have to live this way
Are you ready to break these chains
Ready to break these chains
I've been locked down chained to my own thoughts
Now I rock out break out my own box
I'm so blessed I'm so happy it's so right
I'm fresh dressed my best vest is so tight
That's what I'm saying
Crazy in a whole another lane that's amazing
Just to let you know I'm coming from the other side
Still I'll always be a kid in my mother's eyes
See we all could be happy people
If we stop feeding our own egos
And live our lives right where we are
Instead of where we wanna be
Are you ready to break these chains
Are you ready to find a way
We were meant for more than this
Times is all we got to give
We don't have to live this way
Are you ready to break these chains
Ready to break these chains
Rockin' With You
You've got your friends, they say, that I'm just no good
Because they heard my name buzzin' through their hood
Why go through all the things that I used to do?
To make a long story short, I'm only rockin' with you
I did my dirt, but hey, who ain't got a past?
It's a new day, I just wanna make it last
So when I say "I love," just know that it's true
To make a long story short, I'm only rockin' with you
Them other girls now
That used to come around
Don't mean a thing now
Cause I'm only rockin' with you
So let your guard down
Cause girl I'm all about
Being your man now
Cause I'm only rockin' with you
No need to lie, ok, I know I was wrong
For all those times those girls were calling my phone
I swear I learned my lesson when you said you were through
To make a long story short, I'm only rockin' with you
So all those games I've played, I put them aside
Cause I can't live without you here in my life
It might have took a little time but you're the one that I choose
To make a long story short I'm only rockin' with you
Them other girls now
That used to come around
Don't mean a thing now
Cause I'm only rockin' with you
So let your guard down
Cause girl I'm all about
Being your man now
Cause I'm only rockin' with you
Never really been a ladies man, even since I was a baby, man
But I don't need a thousand girls, just one woman that'll rock my world
And you waited for me to get out of hell
You held me down when they thought I would fail
I'm doing good, yeah you know that I would, right
Now it's just us let's toast to the good life
Them other girls now
That used to come around
Don't mean a thing now
Cause I'm only rockin' with you
So let your guard down
Cause girl I'm all about
Being your man now
To make a long story short I'm only rockin' with you
Because they heard my name buzzin' through their hood
Why go through all the things that I used to do?
To make a long story short, I'm only rockin' with you
I did my dirt, but hey, who ain't got a past?
It's a new day, I just wanna make it last
So when I say "I love," just know that it's true
To make a long story short, I'm only rockin' with you
Them other girls now
That used to come around
Don't mean a thing now
Cause I'm only rockin' with you
So let your guard down
Cause girl I'm all about
Being your man now
Cause I'm only rockin' with you
No need to lie, ok, I know I was wrong
For all those times those girls were calling my phone
I swear I learned my lesson when you said you were through
To make a long story short, I'm only rockin' with you
So all those games I've played, I put them aside
Cause I can't live without you here in my life
It might have took a little time but you're the one that I choose
To make a long story short I'm only rockin' with you
Them other girls now
That used to come around
Don't mean a thing now
Cause I'm only rockin' with you
So let your guard down
Cause girl I'm all about
Being your man now
Cause I'm only rockin' with you
Never really been a ladies man, even since I was a baby, man
But I don't need a thousand girls, just one woman that'll rock my world
And you waited for me to get out of hell
You held me down when they thought I would fail
I'm doing good, yeah you know that I would, right
Now it's just us let's toast to the good life
Them other girls now
That used to come around
Don't mean a thing now
Cause I'm only rockin' with you
So let your guard down
Cause girl I'm all about
Being your man now
To make a long story short I'm only rockin' with you
Like You
Feeling like a soldier in a one man army
Cold and alone and baby I'm hardly,
Sleeping...
Middle of the night wake up in a cold sweat
Calling out your name but I know that I'm hopeless
Dreaming...
So if you wanna know now
I could give you the low down
See ain't no other girl out there
That could love me, like you do
I miss the way you held me
You used to do it tightly,
Ain't no other girl out there
That could love me, like you do
Feels like I'm moving but I'm driving in circles
Never knew losing you was really gonna hurt so,
Deeply....
Now all these other girls in the world don't compare to
How you walk, how you talk girl you so real
I mean it...
You need to know the way I feel
My nights are long the pain is real
I call your name but no one's there
You got me going out my mind
Since the very day you disappeared
So if you wanna know now
I could give you the low down
See ain't no other girl out there
That could love me, like you do
I miss the way you held me
You used to do it tightly,
Ain't no other girl out there
That could love me, like you
That could love me like you do...
Cold and alone and baby I'm hardly,
Sleeping...
Middle of the night wake up in a cold sweat
Calling out your name but I know that I'm hopeless
Dreaming...
So if you wanna know now
I could give you the low down
See ain't no other girl out there
That could love me, like you do
I miss the way you held me
You used to do it tightly,
Ain't no other girl out there
That could love me, like you do
Feels like I'm moving but I'm driving in circles
Never knew losing you was really gonna hurt so,
Deeply....
Now all these other girls in the world don't compare to
How you walk, how you talk girl you so real
I mean it...
You need to know the way I feel
My nights are long the pain is real
I call your name but no one's there
You got me going out my mind
Since the very day you disappeared
So if you wanna know now
I could give you the low down
See ain't no other girl out there
That could love me, like you do
I miss the way you held me
You used to do it tightly,
Ain't no other girl out there
That could love me, like you
That could love me like you do...
Better on Paper
This is just how I get it out,
So everytime someone comes around,
I dont have to cry, scream, or shout,
Seems once its on paper, it quiet the sounds,
And every lost word, seems to be found.
Green bills fade,
As the money piles away,
Locked up in a shed of stray straw and hay,
Cause when theres nothing left to say,
It's better to go your cya later's
Cause sometimes, things are left better on paper.
Im not lookin' for opinions
When I voice out all these figments
In my head,
Yet I seek forgiveness,
In cup covered lipstick,
As I lay in cold restless bed,
The auroma of licorice,
Turns hitlist to scentless,
The flood gates have already fled,
As I write in code,
Cause of all the anxious unknown,
My words will replace it instead,
Green bills fade,
As the money piles away,
Locked up in a shed of stray straw and hay,
Cause when theres nothing left to say,
It's better to go your cya later's
Cause sometimes, things are left better on paper.
Some say the best work,
Is done when your afraid,
Hence while im always terrified,
With angelic eyes,
I stay awake for all that voice an opinion.
Of all the thoughts in my head.
So everytime someone comes around,
I dont have to cry, scream, or shout,
Seems once its on paper, it quiet the sounds,
And every lost word, seems to be found.
Green bills fade,
As the money piles away,
Locked up in a shed of stray straw and hay,
Cause when theres nothing left to say,
It's better to go your cya later's
Cause sometimes, things are left better on paper.
Im not lookin' for opinions
When I voice out all these figments
In my head,
Yet I seek forgiveness,
In cup covered lipstick,
As I lay in cold restless bed,
The auroma of licorice,
Turns hitlist to scentless,
The flood gates have already fled,
As I write in code,
Cause of all the anxious unknown,
My words will replace it instead,
Green bills fade,
As the money piles away,
Locked up in a shed of stray straw and hay,
Cause when theres nothing left to say,
It's better to go your cya later's
Cause sometimes, things are left better on paper.
Some say the best work,
Is done when your afraid,
Hence while im always terrified,
With angelic eyes,
I stay awake for all that voice an opinion.
Of all the thoughts in my head.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
My Beautiful Mess
Everybody falls sometimes,
But you gotta find the strength to rise,
Impossible is not a word,
Its just a reason for someone not to try
Watch silent prayers getting answered,
I've seen miracles happen,
Now I'm searching for that happily ever after.
Somedays, I just want a family of my own,
But somedays, I just wanna sit at home alone,
Though most days, I try to hide emotions on the phone,
And the fact that I don't want anyone to know,
That im scared to death of all the anxious unknown
Spent enough of my life fighting,
Dont want to fight love,
One second there here,
Then they're stuck in the mud,
So I'm left in my last seconds,
Seeking revenge in puddles of blood,
They're pouring salt in my wounds
I dont even know where to start,
You see, you can bandage the damage,
But you could never really fix my heart.
So, I severed ties, ending in lies,
I've done so much wrong, I must be right,
Mending it all back now to bind,
By bending it back, attacking the mind,
Searching backroads for pointless road signs,
But everything will be alright in life,
As long as you try to shine...
They say theres a light at the end of each tunnel,
But words are nothing compared to what im seeing,
But its time I start believing,
Cause I've been dreaming, of moving moutains,
Ive seen my youth flow from the fountains
And, If things seem to bright to be true,
shoot out the lights, and enlight on a journey,
For truth, cause no one cares more than you do,
And if your afraid of heights, grit your teeth and jump in,
Tired of waiting for those that are always late?
Dont make the same mistake, I've made...
My Beautiful Mess
But you gotta find the strength to rise,
Impossible is not a word,
Its just a reason for someone not to try
Watch silent prayers getting answered,
I've seen miracles happen,
Now I'm searching for that happily ever after.
Somedays, I just want a family of my own,
But somedays, I just wanna sit at home alone,
Though most days, I try to hide emotions on the phone,
And the fact that I don't want anyone to know,
That im scared to death of all the anxious unknown
Spent enough of my life fighting,
Dont want to fight love,
One second there here,
Then they're stuck in the mud,
So I'm left in my last seconds,
Seeking revenge in puddles of blood,
They're pouring salt in my wounds
I dont even know where to start,
You see, you can bandage the damage,
But you could never really fix my heart.
So, I severed ties, ending in lies,
I've done so much wrong, I must be right,
Mending it all back now to bind,
By bending it back, attacking the mind,
Searching backroads for pointless road signs,
But everything will be alright in life,
As long as you try to shine...
They say theres a light at the end of each tunnel,
But words are nothing compared to what im seeing,
But its time I start believing,
Cause I've been dreaming, of moving moutains,
Ive seen my youth flow from the fountains
And, If things seem to bright to be true,
shoot out the lights, and enlight on a journey,
For truth, cause no one cares more than you do,
And if your afraid of heights, grit your teeth and jump in,
Tired of waiting for those that are always late?
Dont make the same mistake, I've made...
My Beautiful Mess
Monday, October 8, 2012
Day One
So close, I can feel it,
I'm a ghost, notta spirit, and
I've finally come to terms,
Thats why im about to share it,
Free to the masses, populations trippin,
With to many feet up they asses,
But thats not the message, thats not my fashion,
I gave in once, but im right back on you bastards
I boxed my way, outta this box, today
nothing left to say, but to live a way
in which everyday, we end those charades
and drink champagne, yeah lets make it rain
Cloudy weather, theres nothing better,
than to see the sun, shining out today,
No I can't complain, cause if it get's cold
I'll just grab me a sweater, and toast to the breader
that makes it all better, even under the whether or not
nothing greater than rehab, gettin it together on the spot
target on lock, jock strap, grab that proverbial glock
And aim for the top, you see that dotted line,
Yeah boy, im gunnin' for all you got
You see I've created a new game,
For those that have forgot,
I go by a new name, Hollywood
Bout to blow up faster than when you hear a missle,
whislin' by from a pistol, locked on to thousand tanks of propane
Damn, what a waste, what a shame
But guess what? Today's a new day,
And Imma light it up like Cigars and Rosette...
Day One
I'm a ghost, notta spirit, and
I've finally come to terms,
Thats why im about to share it,
Free to the masses, populations trippin,
With to many feet up they asses,
But thats not the message, thats not my fashion,
I gave in once, but im right back on you bastards
I boxed my way, outta this box, today
nothing left to say, but to live a way
in which everyday, we end those charades
and drink champagne, yeah lets make it rain
Cloudy weather, theres nothing better,
than to see the sun, shining out today,
No I can't complain, cause if it get's cold
I'll just grab me a sweater, and toast to the breader
that makes it all better, even under the whether or not
nothing greater than rehab, gettin it together on the spot
target on lock, jock strap, grab that proverbial glock
And aim for the top, you see that dotted line,
Yeah boy, im gunnin' for all you got
You see I've created a new game,
For those that have forgot,
I go by a new name, Hollywood
Bout to blow up faster than when you hear a missle,
whislin' by from a pistol, locked on to thousand tanks of propane
Damn, what a waste, what a shame
But guess what? Today's a new day,
And Imma light it up like Cigars and Rosette...
Day One
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